7 Stages of Getting Over Someone

Some people have to takes pills to deal with sadness and depression of a breakup because they don’t know how to pass the ‘Bargaining Stage’. To know more about Bargaining Stage, Read the post…

There are lots of article written on the stages of getting over someone. As every person is unique and their situation is unique, too, there are not exact and universal stages of getting over someone.

Some people pass some stages and some other pass the other stages. However, after examine and helping lots of people (see testimonials here), I find that there are 7 most common stages of getting over a breakup and grief that every person usually go through.

These stages are:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Relapse
  • Acceptance
  • Recovery

So let’s start with these stages:

1) Denial –

We all hate changes in our lives. Normally, we are not very open to accept any good or bad changes in our lives.

That’s what happens when someone gets a breakup from their partner. The person who gets the breakup, usually deny that they got a breakup.

Normally, the most common responses at this stage are, “No, it can’t be true” “They can’t live without me” “I can’t live without her/him” “The new person is not good for her/him” “They are just kidding” and so on.

Most people remain on this stage not for long time. As other things happen like rough behavior from ex, people start to accept that they just got a break up.

2) Anger –

When circumstances make a person believe that they got a breakup, they become angry because they feel that they were being used/manipulated.

Girls feel that they were being used while guys think that they were being manipulated.

Thus, both of them think to take revenge on their exes. People often think how they can take revenge on their ex at this stage. This is quite normal.

If you are flirting hard with opposite sex just to make your ex jealous, then you can assume that you are at this stage.

People pass this stage when they find that they are unable to take revenge on their ex. For example, you stop flirting hard with opposite sex while you see that your ex shows no emotions for this action.

Thus, you unconsciously believe that you are not able to take revenge from your ex.

3) Bargaining –

There are two dangerous stages of getting over someone which are Bargain and Relapse.

Movies and romantic novels make the bargaining stage difficult to deal with. On the other hand, Facebook with other social networking sites and sad songs make a person not to pass the relapse stage.

Well, when people find that they can’t take revenge on their ex,  they start visualizing the old beautiful days and moments of the relationship.

This happens because your subconscious mind wants to keep you happy. When it finds that you are not successful at getting your ex back, it starts sending you the old beautiful moments of the relationship so that you can feel that you are living those moments right now. Thus, you become happy for a very small time (see more Why do we fall in love with someone).

Thereafter, you chase after this short and small pleasure by listening to sad songs, reading sad breakup quotes, and watching old videos and photographs.

But the tragedy is the pleasure doesn’t last for long time. You get a quick reminder that you have lost all these things, and then you start regretting the past.

This is how your subconscious mind works.

If you are in this stage and you are listening to sad songs or watching old videos for an hour, then you will get pleasure from it for not more than 5 minutes and the rest of 55 minutes you will regret the past.

I never find anyone who claims that they haven’t passed this stage while they are going through a breakup.

People starts listening to sad songs and thinking that the relationship was so much awesome for them.

Furthermore, they start daydreaming that everything is setting as it was before the breakup, and their ex is returning back to their life.

Doing all these things makes the steps of getting over someone much more difficult.

All these things just ignite your old flame of love for your ex. Therefore, the more you ignite it, the difficult your breakup will become.

How to know whether you are in this stage or not –

The best way to know it is ask yourself, do you still have small hops that you will somehow get your ex back? Do you daydream that all things are settling down as they were before?

If so, you are in this stage. And this is a warning alarm for you to do something to get over this stage, or else you may suffer for a long time or may not get over that person.

4) Depression –

As you already know that you will become depressed when you wish for something you don’t have.

In the bargaining stage, you do things which usually ignite love for your ex, therefore you become more obsessed for your ex.

However, your mind reminds you that you have no control over your ex and they have gone from your life, you become depressed.

You normally become depressed when you find that there is no hope to get back an important thing you lost.

This is also very common that you experience very frequent mood shift from loss of hope and hope to get your ex back.

Sometimes you become so much confused whether to get your ex back or get over them.

Some people try spell-casting and other so-called supernatural ways to get their ex back. Some of them become so much depressed to do anything to get their ex back.

5) Relapse –

It is not common that everyone experience relapse stage, however if your ex is manipulative one, then surely you are going to experience this stage.

Some people are manipulative. If they end a relationship on their own terms, they usually want to ‘be friends’ with their ex and start a new relationship with someone new.

If everything goes good, then they move forward to the new person. However, if they find that the new one is not that much awesome, then they return back to the old relationship.

Yes, guys and girls. The world is not full of good persons like you. There are lots of selfish people, too.

So, if your ex is manipulative one, then they will try to remain “friends” with you.

And if they get any obstacle while living without you, they will start giving singles that they want you back.

And probably, you will fall in the relapse stage. You may wish for a reunion once again.

Then you will have to go through all previous stages, 1) denial, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining and 4) Depression once again.

The best way to pass this stage is to kill every hope for a reunion. Don’t keep false hopes that everything will be set back again.

Don’t “stay friends” with your ex, no matter how much arguments they made for this.

If you are being dumped, then remaining friends with your ex is always a loss-loss option for you.

When you completely get rid of false hopes to get your ex back, you will soon get over this stage.

6) Acceptance –

Depending on your unique situation, after passing depression or relapse stage, you soon start to accept that you can’t get your ex back.

After being cheated on some spell-casting services, you start accepting that no matter what will you do, you won’t get your ex back.

And in this stage, you start searching for the information “how to get over your ex”.

Actually, you regret the past in this stage, too. However, now you are more open to focus on other things rather than just thinking about past and relationship.

At this time, the main problem you face is to deal with unwanted emotions.

The best way to pass this stage is to read positive books, dig yourself and know the source of your unwanted emotions. Then take steps to deal with those emotions.

You can easily do all these by getting access to my training material The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days.

The training material inside this course will help you to understand yourself and know yourself much better than before.

Thereafter, you will get easy steps to deal with unwanted bad emotions which don’t take more than two weeks (normally).

You will get over your ex painlessly. 🙂

7) Recovery –

When you completely accept the breakup and deal with unwanted post breakup emotions, you will start recovering from it.

This is the final stage of getting over someone who doesn’t love you back.

You will return back to your normal routine. You will become indifferent to your ex’s acts. And it won’t matter to you what they are doing in their life.

How to get over someone quickly?

After examine all these stages, you might want to know how to get over someone fast. Don’t you?

There are three long phase stages in above list. They are: Bargaining, Relapse and acceptance.

In order to short the time and pain of getting over someone, you need to pass these stages quickly.

You can reduce the time of bargaining stage by using “it’s over” technique of my training material The Master Training Kit.

Then you should make sure that you shouldn’t fall into relapse stage. Don’t be friends with your ex and avoid all types of communications with them.

Lastly, you should decrease the acceptance stage by understanding how to deal with unwanted emotions.

My course, The Master Training Kit will help you a lot in doing so. Take a look of it.

 

Incoming search terms:

  • stages of getting over someone
About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn't a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.   By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).   If you've been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.

2 Comments

  • Sabre Chambers

    June 21, 2016

    Thanks, this was very helpful. The girl I’m with is not the one for me; we don’t relate on deep levels, but she is kinda smart.
    I’m just gone, I don’t want to get hurt, she’s going to hurt me If I stay. I’m going to walk into a bomb if I stick around, I’m out.

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    June 21, 2016

    Good to hear this Sabre!
    Remember what you said here whenever she tries to manipulate you once again.

    Good Luck 🙂

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field