Depressed After a Breakup? Here Are the Best Ways to Deal with Post-Breakup Depression

Depression is a situation in which your subconscious mind believes that you have lost something which is very important to you, and there is very little hope to get that thing back.

Would you like to get over your post-breakup depression in only three steps? If so, keep reading.

In order to deal with your post breakup depression, first, you need to understand what depression is.

Depression –

Besides psychology, if we talk about depression in general terms, then depression is considered a condition in which your subconscious mind believes that you have lost something which is very important to you. And there is very little hope to get that thing back.

Think about the people who invest their money on stock market, when stock market crashes, they become depressed because money is highly important to them.

In this situation, their subconscious minds believe that there is very little possibility to get back the money they lost.

Your level of depression depends on how important the thing you lost was to you.

Now, analyze your post-breakup depression –

Considering the above example, you can say that you are being depressed because you lost a precious partner you didn’t want to lose.

You might have wanted to spend your life with them, however the situation was not in your favor. You still want to get your ex back, however, there is very little possibility to get them back. That’s the reason why you are depressed.

A person, who loves money, becomes depressed when he loses his money.

A person, who loves their partner, becomes depressed when they lose them after a breakup.

How can anybody get over depression?

The best way to get over depression is to find a way to get the thing back that you lost.

However, it is not always possible that you can get the thing back you lost. In this case, you should try to find an alternative and focus on getting that.

For example, if someone lost their money in the stock market, then the best way for him to get over his depression is to find a way to get his money back.

However, if he finds that there is no way to get his money back from the stock market, then, he should try to find another way to get more money than what he lost in the stock market.

What would happen if that person starts making more money from another business thereafter? Wouldn’t his depression go away? Of course.

How to get over breakup depression?

In order to get over post-breakup depression, you will need to do something similar to the example listed above.

What would happen if you get a better partner after the breakup? You would be able to rise above the depression (Use Convince your ‘S’ Technique to get a better partner after the breakup) .

However, it is not that easy always. The person, who still has feelings for their ex, is usually unable to see the possibility of finding a better partner.

The reason behind this is that they are still too attached to their ex and therefore, they cannot enter into another relationship.

They don’t accept that their partner has left them and they still have hopes that they will be re-united. However, that hope is usually very slim.

Three steps to get over the depression of a breakup –

once you understand the psychology of depression, you need to follow these three steps to get over your post breakup depression.

Step 1) Accept that you are broken-up –

What would happen if the person who has lost his money on stock market never accepts that he has actually lost it?

He will remain depressed and he will never try to find other ways to make more money than what he lost.

In the same way, this happens while you are dealing with a breakup. If you never accept that the person you lost is gone forever, then, you won’t start seeing someone else and you will remain attached to your ex – even if they have moved on.

Let’s say that there is only a 3% chance that you can get your ex back and a 97% chance that you can’t get them back. In this case, the 3% chance is causing you depression.

In other words, this 3% chance of getting back together with your ex is preventing you from moving forward.

However, if there is 0% chance that you will ever back together, it may be easier for you to accept the breakup.

It is very common that people recover from the death of a loved one sooner than a breakup. It is because in the first case, people are 100% sure that there is 0% chance to get back that person from death.

The second thing you should understand is that you need to have hope that you will end up having a better partner/relationship than you did with your ex. If you don’t have hope for a better partner, your mind will keep you focused on the past.

In short, 1) you should focus on losing all hope to get your ex back and 2) find hope that you will find someone better.

Step 2) Avoid visualizing your ex –

Don’t daydream that your ex returning to you because the more you daydream, the harder it will be for you to accept that there is absolutely no chance to get your ex back.

Instead of visualizing your ex, you should do things which can prove to you that the relationship is final such as burning old photographs and deleting old videos of them.

Step 3) Look for alternatives –

Once you do these two steps, you should remind yourself that your ex was not the best person out there. After all, if they were, most of your colleagues would have fallen in love with them.

You should also remind yourself that you can attract someone better than your ex. After all, you have now experienced a relationship and you understand your needs and wants much better than you did before.

Therefore, now you have better chances of attracting and dating someone who is much better for you than your ex was.

For this, you need to change your life-style in a way which can allow you to meet new people.

If you stay home all day watching soap operas, then, you should ask yourself how will you meet another partner?

You need to meet new people. And once you can attract someone better than your ex, the depression from the breakup will gradually fade away.

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn't a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.   By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).   If you've been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.

2 Comments

  • Rinneth

    October 6, 2015

    Hi it’s me again!
    Thanks for this post.
    In my case, I don’t want him back. I’m 100% convinced that he isn’t someone for me. My post breakup depression is caused by being alone and dealing with this alone. Prior to breakup, I left my toxic circle I have been for 4 years. I was able to leave them because my bf said he will always be there for me. I trusted him and left. Then after few months, he broke up with me to return to those people.

    Now I am alone to face all of these. I tried to contact old friends but conversations ended fruitlessly. It’s because I was never part of their life to begin with and they already have their own circle.

    If you have time and if you like, here’s my story
    http://ladyarizel.blogspot.com/2015/09/my-shoujo-manga-like-love-story-ended.html

    and my reflections and realizations:
    http://ladyarizel.blogspot.com/2015/09/more-realizations-and-reflections-after.html

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    October 7, 2015

    Hi,

    I can understand you situation at this time. You are feeling lonely because you have neither your boyfriend nor intimate friends. It may be possible that you are missing some skills which are preventing to you to develop intimate relationship with some of your friends. We all need some close friends. If you have some close friends, then loneliness won’t bother you that much.

    Try to fix your relationship with your old friends, you need to invest some time on this. Also, make efforts to develop coping skills to make new friends. I am sure these two things will help you a lot to fight with your loneliness. 🙂

    Thanks for commenting on my site.

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