How to Have a Good & Healthy Relationship [No More General Advice]

Understand the fact what you want in the relationship is not always what they want in the relationship. Understanding your partner and respecting their wishes are two things which are must be followed to maintain a healthy relationship.

Do you have an unhealthy relationship? Do you want to improve your relationship, but you don’t know how?

There is much superficial advice on how to have a good and healthy relationship on the internet. You may have read advice such as give chocolates and flowers to your partner, help them in their work, praise them all time and blah blah blah.

Such superficial advice normally fixes the superficial issues. They normally don’t fix the root causes of major conflicts.

How to Have a Good & Healthy Relationship?

Follow these tips:

#1. Choosing the correct partner –

However, if you are already in a relationship then this tip might seem strange to you, yet choosing the right partner from the starting will surely help you to refrain from lots of debates and arguments.

If you believe that you are in troublesome relationship, then it is not always possible to fix all issues without the help of your partner. You both be willing to save the relationship.

Make sure that you both have some common goals for the relationship. You both should respect each other no matter how worst the arguments become. If your relationship lacks these two things, then you should consider whether you are in a toxic relationship.

If you find that are in a bad relationship, then it’s better to leave that abusive relationship and find your true soul mate.

How can someone find the correct partner for them?

Good question! To get the answer you first need to understand why will fall in love with a certain person and not with other ones. In other words, you need to understand the love psychology. Checkout previous post and know more about this.

#2. Spend time on doing the things of common interests –

The secrets of a happy marriage is heavily depends on this tip. People who are in healthy relationships consciously or unconsciously spend much time doing the things of common interests.

Advice such as help your woman on kitchen will never work unless she also enjoys cooking. Similarities attract people to each other. And most of us are attracted to the people who are similar to ourselves.

Moreover, in the starting of a relationship people normally counts how many similarities they have with their partner.

So, find out how many similar activities you both enjoy. Thereafter, make plans for how to spend your time on doing those activities.

#3. Mutual respects –

This may seem a general advice, however in order to maintain a good relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife and you must follow it.

We all know that sometimes minor conflicts turn into major debates. And sometimes you lose your temper and use abusive language not only for your partner but also for their family members. This is a huge mistake and you must avoid them.

Remember that you have issues with your partner and not with their family. So don’t raise issue about their family members.

Also remember that every abusive word weaken the bond of the relationship.

#4. Understand what you and your partner want in the relationship and sweet spot –


When you analyze what you and your partner wants in the relationship, you come up with these 3 facts:

  1. There are some things only you want from the relationship
  2. There are some things only your partner wants from the relationship
  3. There are some things you both want from the relationship

Understand the fact what you want in the relationship is not always what they want in the relationship. The true characteristics of a good relationship is that both partners understand and respects each other’s wishes. They are not much dependent on nagging to fix the minor issue of the relationship.

Well, in the starting, you need to focus on the 3rd tip which is to focus on the things you both want from the relationship.

Later, your relationship will turn like this.

However, if the relationship is not working, then this diagram shows it better:

And this is the situation when a breakup happens (see below):

#5. Never compare your partner with someone else –

If you want to make your partner understand what you want, then there are some other ways to let it them instead of comparing them with someone else.

When you are comparing them, then you are actually hurting their ego.

Remember, if you are a woman then never compare your boyfriend or husband to more successful or richer men.

And if you are a man then never compare your girlfriend or wife to younger women.

#6. Give them their space –

Spending time on mutual interests is good, however it is also important to give your partner their space. Being husband-wife or couple doesn’t mean that you should interfere on everything they do.

Let them be independent. It’s vital for keeping your relationship strong and happy.

Moreover, you should be not too much dependent on your partner, too. Avoid becoming a permission seeker and take your own decision.

Researches show that being remain independent will always make you more attractive in the eyes of your partner.

#7. Flirt with your partner –

In the movie My First 50 Dates, the main character Henry [Adam Sandler] dates the same girl, Lucy [Drew Barrymore] 50 times because Lucy had a kind of memory disorder.

In the movie, she met with an accident and she was unable to remember anything which happened after that day. Therefore, Henry [Adam Sandler] had to flirt with her and impress her every day. And next day she forgot that she was impressed by Henry previous day.

Poor Henry had to flirt with her with different and creative methods to impress her each day.

So it was all about that movie. And I don’t think that your partner would have any kind of memory disorder.

Flirting will never end after settling down with someone. It’s not the game over. Tease them and it’s still worth doing.

Please, don’t misinterpret that this tip comes from dating advice. This tip is from psychology, too. There is a good psychological reason behind this. Flirting with your partner feeds your partners psychological need that they are still attractive and worthy to be flirted.

#8. Beware if your love catalog is changing –

In my post why do will fall in love, I described that we fell in love with someone who fits in our love catalog.

And the Love Catalog is unconsciously developed by our subconscious mind based on our life-experience and unfulfilled desired.

It is less likely that people who are in a good relationship see that their love catalog is changing majorly.

However, if you are in a bad relationship, then there is a big possibility that either your or your partner’s love catalog is changing to a great extent. Thus, you both are not fitting to each other’s love catalog.

Normally, this creates lack of attraction and other issues between both partners.

Look into the recent events in the past, and find whether they created huge changes in the love catalog of either of you. Thereafter, you need to necessary steps. For more info, click the link and see my previous post.

#9. Focus on your certain characteristics which annoys your partner –

If you change yourself completely into a new person, then your partner may fall out of love with you.  The reason behind this is that they fell in love with a person you are today.

So what can you do about your annoying traits?

Let’s assume that there are 10 traits which annoy your partner, then try to fix 5 traits. And that’s enough for maintaining a good relationship. You can’t change yourself completely, yet you can change minor things from your habit.

#10. Communication in a relationship –

Having a good communication is vital to have a successful relationship. Both partners should be willing to communicate each other. Moreover, if a fight happens, then the no contact period should be minimal. It shouldn’t be extend to weeks.

As long as you are communicating each other, the probability of solving issues will be always greater than the case of no communication.

#11. Get rid of false beliefs and misconceptions about love –

In my course The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days, I described how false beliefs and misconceptions about love make people suffer a lot after the breakup.

People stay in unhealthy relationships and they believe that their partners were they soul mates. If they were real soul mates, then the relationship would not be unhealthy ones.

So educated yourself and get rid of false beliefs.

I need relationship advice, but from where?

If we talk in general terms, expect some genuine people most people out there are unhappy and they are clueless about how to do things to bring more happiness in their lives.

However, when you discuss your relationship problems to those clueless people, they will give advice as though they were the happiest persons on the earth.

However, minor conflicts can be solved by taking general advice, yet sometimes you need to take expert advice, too. So, when it seems that your relationship issues are very critical, then don’t hesitate to take expert advice from a counselor.

About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn't a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.   By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).   If you've been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.

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