9 Strategies On How to Deal With Negative People

A few days ago, I got this comment on one of my post:

“First, the advice is not terrible.  However, I would be more likely to follow the advise if the article did not have so many grammatical errors!  It read like a 3rd grader wrote this”

Well, we all don’t live in an ideal world where all people are helping, positive and constructive in nature.

The world we live in is full of different types of people. We shall have to encounter both positive and negative people throughout our lives.

Unless, you are from a small group of big and powerful people in the world, it’s hard to avoid seeing and encountering negative people from your life.

Therefore, you have to face negative people sometimes regardless of your good karma.

So the best thing you can do is to learn how to deal with them.

These negative people might be your spouse, your family members, your parents, your mother, your employees or even your boss.

Furthermore, it doesn’t matter how much polite you are and how much good thing you are doing, some people will criticize you for your shortcomings.

Before reading further, I want you to watch this video on YouTube. If you can spend just 5 minutes out of your life to watch this video, it may and will be life changing for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfa2O5OWZHc

I urge you to stop read here right now, and watch the video for at least 3 minutes. Only then read further.

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So I assume that you have watched the video. Anyone with a normal heart feels empathy with this handless and legless guy named, Nick Vujicic.

However, if you notice, there are 24 dislikes (at the time of writing this post) on this video, too.

What do you think why those 24 people disliked that video?

Did Nick say anything offensive to anyone in this video?

I can say one thing about those 24 people. They all are negative ones and probably most of them are narcissist. Those people roam around here and there just find mistakes and shortcomings in the people.

They do so just to satisfy their self esteem. After all, they feel inferior inside their hearts.

And they won’t feel good as long as they find that other people have bigger shortcomings than them.

In my training material The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days I explained that feeling bad because of been rejected by someone who didn’t love you is a total nonsense.

Negative people are all around the world.

Now back to the comment I got.

Well, I always welcome constructive comments and opinions from my valued reader because it always helps me to perform better and deliver more value to my valued readers.

“First, the advice is not terrible.  However, I would be more likely to follow the advise if the article did not have so many grammatical errors!  It read like a 3rd grader wrote this”

When you read the comment, you will come up a few things about the commenter.

  • She just got a break up and she was unhappy with her life.
  • She might be an over possessive woman.
  • Her ex might have dumped her because of this nature.

She could have delivered the same message with different wording in a polite way.

I didn’t make my website to write academic and classical literatures to win Pulitzer Prizes.

I made this website to help common people just like you to get over exes and get rid of old memories of the past relationships painlessly.

Anyway, it made me to feel a little bad. However, at the same evening I got this email.

This guy was one of my valued subscribers. He told me that he would name his first child based on my name. If he would get a baby boy, then he would call him Alex, and if he would get a baby girl then he would call her Alexa!

After a few days, I got this email from another person…

This guy was so happy to read the bonus product which comes with The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days.

Both emails made me feel proud of myself and I immediately replied showing my gratitude towards them.

So, how to deal with negative people?

1) Accept that there are negative people –

You can’t really neglect that there negative people. Don’t believe that you are living in an imaginary world in which there are no negative people. So just accept it.

2) Understand that the negative people are unsatisfied with their lives –

In my previous post about depression, I told that serve depression is happen because of too many of unsatisfied desires.

Most dreams are not easy to accomplish. One needs to do hard work and fight for one’s dreams.

Some people accomplish those dreams and some don’t.

People who don’t accomplish most of their dreams (in other words, they are unable to satisfy most of their big desires) and they have given up those dreams develop inverted anger.

In other words, anger towards own selves.

They are angry with themselves. Sometimes they hate themselves, however they don’t understand why they hate themselves.

Normally, they release that anger to a less harmful target.

People who shout at their kids every now and then fall into this category. They are the best examples for this. And you can be sure that they are living unsatisfied lives with so many unfulfilled desires.

So when you see the bigger picture, you will see that a negative person is already living a pitiful life.

If you consider this fact, you will find that their negative comments are not affecting you that much.

3) Balance your life with positive ones – 

One of the secret of being happy is to be surrounded with happy ones.

The opposite is also true.

If you are surrounded by the people you don’t like (or negative ones who always criticize you), you will start being sad and depressed in the long run.

This is the reason why leaving a stressful job is good for one’s happiness.

If your job doesn’t allow you to avoid negative people then make sure that you have some positive friends, too.

Consciously or unconsciously we get suggestion and messages from our surroundings. Therefore, balancing negative suggestions from positive ones is a must to keep your belief system remain positive. That’s why you should make associations with winner and progressive thinkers.

The criticism I got from that lady didn’t affect me much because I usually get far greater numbers of praiseworthy comments from my valued readers than negative ones.

I spend most of my social time with some of my positive friends who are also progressive thinkers (the persons who usually look forward for new opportunities instead of regretting the past).

A person is normally a byproduct of his network. Being in a positive network is always better than being in a negative network.

4) Devalue their opinion about you – 

Negative people rarely have constructive comments. Normally, they don’t pass negative comments to encourage you to perform better. They do so because they are jealous of you.

Some narcissists also have a habit to pass negative comments on others. Narcissists believe that they are the only persons who deserve success.

Whatever case it is, you should not give much weight to their opinions.

When you take a deeper look at those people, you will find they haven’t achieved any notable success which gives them authority to judge what you should do or what you shouldn’t do. On the contrary, they might be living miserable lives with their dead dreams.

I know the lady who criticized me in a bad way recently went through a split up with her ex.

Probably, she was replaced by a younger woman. She was already in pain with full of negative thoughts about her ex (probably for all men, too).

5) Attack instead of being defensive –

Use this method with ones whose only objective is to make you down by criticizing you. Some people get an evil nature of happiness when they make someone feel down about himself.

Now see how you can use this method.

The normal method:

Them: “You can’t do this task (or whatsoever negative they talk about you)”.

You: “I can do it. You can’t judge me this way.”

Now see how you can use Attack instead of defend method in the same scenario:

Them: “You can’t do this task (or whatsoever negative they talk about you)”.

You: “Forget about me, and take consideration of your [put their flaws here].”

Everyone has their own flaws. Low confident and negative people are very sensitive about their flaws.

By touching their flaws and emphasizing about them, you can stop them to talk more negative about you. That’s it.

6) Know your limitation and take action accordingly –

Sometimes you can’t stop someone to talk negative. When your boss is criticizing you, then surely you would need to take a different step.

Dealing with a negative comment from your parents, family members or spouse needs a different step.

In such a case, you should not either respond back aggressively or devalue their opinions in front of them. Instead you should make them feel that you heard what they said.

Make them believe that you are taking considerations of their opinions and concerns.

In the next step, you should talk to them polity and start letting them to understand that you didn’t like the way they criticize you.

7) Show that you didn’t like what they said – 

As I described in previous tip, you should let them know that you didn’t like their criticism. Sometimes, you have to become diplomatic while dealing with negative persons.

If you can’t tell them that you didn’t like their criticism directly, then show it with your body language and attitude.

Last year, I was invited to join a meeting by one of my friend who worked in media. The theme of that meeting was to make an organization which will do some developmental works in our local area.

The idea was good but the speaker and head was emphasizing much about his view and he was giving no value to others views.

He also didn’t give any value to my view. On the other hand he tried to make fun of my ideas.

As I didn’t want to make my life full of enemies, I didn’t respond him aggressively.

However, I gave no value to what he was saying later in the meeting. He was trying hard to persuade me that he was right.

And whenever he looked at me to get my attention, I either smile or look here and there or chat with others just to show him that his opinions had no value for me, too.

His last sentence was, “When we are working together for social work, we should respect each other.”

Without saying a single word, I delivered my message that I didn’t like the way he criticize my views.

Note: If you can’t show people that you were being hurt by their words, then you should prepare yourself to hear more hurtful words from those people in future.

8) If you haven’t accomplished your major dreams than try to accomplish them –

One of the major reasons why people hurt so much from a negative comment is that they are not living the life they wished to live. One common thing you can find in majority of people is all of them got failures in their pasts.

Some of them fight back even though life was really tough for them. Finally, they managed to get most of what they wanted from life. When a person reaches at this stage, they acquire a true feeling of self respect.

An awesome feeling you won’t get by just repeating “I love myself”.

Positive affirmations don’t have much power unless you are still trying hard to accomplish your dreams.

If you have given up your dreams, then remember that you will always have an inner conflict for the rest of your life. And whenever you receive any negative comments, this conflict will come into surface and make you vulnerable.

When people have doubts about their abilities, they always become vulnerable to negative criticism.

Most of self doubts will gone away once a person accomplishes majority of their dreams.

Of course, everyone’s situation is different, and sometimes it is not possible to find your old dreams and fight for them.

However, if you would have 4 major dreams and you managed to accomplish only one dream from them, then you would be in a better position to handle negative criticism.

Self love doesn’t come by repeating “I love myself”.

9) Stop negative people to humiliate you –

Years ago, one of my neighbors picked me as his easy target to criticize. I was in my young adulthood at that time and he was in a good terms with my parents.

I was tired of his unsolicited advice about me and my career.

He wished that I should have followed his each and every advice as his two children had been following.

One of his son was my college friend and other one was two years older than me.

At first, I avoided his unsocilated advice, but when his frequency of giving negative advice increased, I thought to do something about this.

One day he was giving his super negative advice about how to be successful in life. I stopped him and told him, “Of course, I should follow your advice that’s why both of your children are employed now and getting high wages.”

Both of his children were unemployed at that time. Now his younger son is getting minimum wages for some accounting work. His older son is still dependent upon him.

After that event whenever he tried to give me his FREE advice, I always stopped him by diverting the topic from my issues to his issues.

After a while, he stopped giving me his unsolicited advice.

How to deal with a negative mother?

Dealing with a negative mother is far different than dealing with other negative person.

After all, you are dealing with your own mother who is negative. When you deal with your negative mother, you need to remember two things:

1) She has an accumulation of many unfulfilled desires –

She might want to study more, but she was not fortunate enough. She might want to get a different job, but she hadn’t got one. If you take a deep look at her talk, you will get a good understanding of what she regrets most.

She might have developed a negative attidude towards life because of not having success on her desired fields.

2) She has a feeling of lack of being in-control in her own life –

Sometimes (not always) the youngest child of a family is rise with a feeling that she has no control over others as well as her own self. After all, she is the youngest and her siblings are stronger and bigger than her.

In such a case, that child develops an urge to control others (friends and co-workers) in order to feel in control.

When such children become adult and get married they also try to control their husbands, too.

However, it might seem a wired guess, yet if they feel that they are unable to control their husbands, they tries to “control” their children.

However, this type of wired psychological need is not unhealthy as long as she is not negative.

3) She was raised up the same way –

Take a look at the childhood of your mother. If you find that either of your grand mother or grand father was a criticizing parent, then it’s not much of your mother’s fault that she is a criticizing mother.

She was unconsciously tough to be a criticizing parent.

In all these cases, the best ways to deal with a negative mother is to let her understand all these three facts and help her to understand herself better.

Make her feel being heard.

How to deal with a negative spouse

Oh! this post is already long, so follow these two short tips:

  • Leave them
  • Try to help them identify their big dreams and then help them to accomplish those dreams (this is how to change them from negative to positive one)

Having too many problems to forget your old love?

Try the best solution of this problem on the earth…

Click here The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days

About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn't a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.   By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).   If you've been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.

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