How to Erase Someone From Your Memory – Top 5 Tips

how to erase someone from your memory

Instead of giving water to the plant of your sad memory, you should cut the steam of it. The plant will die soon.

Did someone do something bad with you? Did someone break your heart or treat you badly?

Do you still feel bad about someone you used to love in past?

If your answer is ‘Yes’ to these question, this post will be crucial for you.

In this post, you will discover how to erase someone from your memory even if it seems impossible now.

To do so, you just need to understand how our mind works. You still feel bad about your ex or someone you used to love based on below reasons:

  1. You are hunted by your old memories
  2. You didn’t do something you wanted with your ex (like you wanted to go on a trip with your ex on a certain place, but you weren’t able to do so)
  3. You have to see your ex regularly and they are happy without you
  4. Ego problem – Seeing your ex dating with someone else kills your ego (See more How to get over being dumped)

These were the main reasons why you want to erase that person from your memory.

How to Erase Someone From Your Memory

You need to follow below tips:

Tip 1. Don’t try to fix the relationship –

I am not so-called optimist author who should give you advice on how to get your ex back. In a good relationship, when couples fight, they get back together after a while without having too much trouble.

However, if you are in a relationship in which you break up with your partner every week, you are in trouble. This is not a relationship which can give you happiness. You would be better off without this relationship (See more Stop loving someone who doesn’t love you).

Now back to how to erase someone from your memory.

First thing you need to do is to make sure you don’t want your ex back. If you do, then you will find that your ex is regretting breaking up with you.

However, if you try to get them back at the middle of the stage, you will just go back to the square one and feel awkward thereafter. So, kill all hopes to restore the relationship.

Tip 2. Take a look at how you fell in love with your ex –

Do you know how you fell in love with your ex? If not, here is how.

When you first met your ex, you knew that they were not someone you were looking for. There was someone else with whom you would like to date.

However, you find that it was impossible for you to date that person. Therefore, you hooked up with someone who was far below than what you desired.

You sometime thought that your ex was not someone you truly wanted in life, but they were someone who compensate for your weaknesses.

Later you discover that you fell into a bad relationship which was doing more harm than good.

Main point: You don’t love your ex that much. You just fell in love with them just because you find that it was hard for you to find someone better than your ex.

Remember this point and you will not regret about your ex that much.

Tip 3. Replace your ex with someone better –

There is a good psychology about losses and gains. The psychology is if you get something big than what you lost, you will soon forget about your loss.

quote about loss

To make it clearer, I would like to tell you a story of Julia. Julia likes to buy lottery tickets. One day she wins a lottery of $200. She becomes happy but somehow she lost that lottery.

She feels very bad thereafter. She become depressed.

Now what would happen if she wins a lottery of $20,000 after a week of that loss? Would she regret about her $200? Of course not, because now she will get something far bigger than what she lost.

The same principal applies in relationship. If you manage to find someone better than your ex and live a better relationship than what you have with your ex, you will soon forget about the old and bad memories of your past relationship.

Remember that I am not telling you to involve into a rebound relationship.

Instead, I want you to read more dating guides. Raise your standard. Achieve success in your life and attract more and better persons. Find your true Soul mate.

When you start living in a better relationship, your bad memories of past relationship will turn into good memories.

Tip 4. Make your ex believe that they were far below than you –

Once you involve into a better relationship, let it know to your ex.  Well, it should not be something like revenge. I am just asking you to let them discover that they were such a fool who decided to dump you.

Doing so will restore your hurt ego. To do so you can take the help of Facebook, Whatsapp and your mutual friends.

Tip 5. Neglect your ex if they want to stay in contact with you thereafter –

If your ex seems to regret breaking up with you and if they want to contact you, you should politely neglect them. Don’t take them back in your life and don’t be friends with them.

When you find that you have just turned the table on and you are on the strong position than your ex is, you will feel a lot better. Just think about this situation and most of your pain will be gone.

Also, remember that you are not doing all those thing to get your ex back. Instead, you are doing so just to erase them from your mind.

So how to erase someone from your memory?

  • Kill hopes to get them back
  • Understand that you didn’t like your ex that much
  • Improve yourself and manage to find someone better than your ex
  • Make your ex realize that they were a fool

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick at

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About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn't a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.   By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).   If you've been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.


  • Carlos

    March 30, 2015

    Hello, very interesting 5 steps to erase somebody from your memory. Before reading your post, I thought that it would be impossible to forget someone you loved so much. I am glad that I stumbled upon here.


  • Brady Emeigh

    March 30, 2015

    Lovely read! Hope to hear more from you soon!

  • Chandrakant

    May 28, 2015

    Obsolutely right

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    June 1, 2015

    I’ll try my best Brady :-).

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    August 21, 2015

    Hey Carlos,

    As long as you understand yourself and your emotions, it is quite easy to let go someone from your life :-).

    Thanks for commenting on my site.

  • Ruhi

    October 30, 2015

    I will start from now these steps except 3rd one. Because love never happens twice. I used to think about him but it was just my mentality. He doesn’t like me because I am not good enough for him.

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    November 17, 2015

    Come on Ruhi, we all know that love happens again. Setbacks are just a part of life. You need to change your focus and rise your standards. Develop coping skills and then you will be able to get what you wanted from life.

    Getting a good partner is not all about luck, it is much more about how you prepare yourself when someone special comes into your life. 🙂

    Good luck.

  • Rahul

    December 26, 2015

    My Gf has dumped me. Earlier I was not sure about the relationship, but when I became sure at that point she dumped me and went to other guy. It has been a month now and I cry daily. I am moving into depression. Any suggestions?:(

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    January 3, 2016

    Hi Rahul,

    First, you should make sure that you are not daydreaming about the good moments of the relationship. Second, you should avoid that person for a while. Third, delete her number from your phone and erase her text messages.
    As you don’t want her back, you can send her below text:
    “I was an idiot before. Now without you, I am happier. Thank god I got rid of you.”

    The idea is that you should kill hopes for a reunion and you will recover faster from your breakup.

  • Vishakha

    February 28, 2016

    This case is of my bestie and I really need your help to help me. My bestie was in a relationship with a girl whom he really loved 2 years ago and their relation lasted for around one and a half years.

    Their relation was not just about “I Love U” or “Valentine’s Day” but he truly loved her and respected her. They had their breakup due to some misunderstandings and one point is also considered that he was a bit possessive for her which she didn’t likes.

    Today it has been 2 years that they had broke up but still he is not able to forget her. He still literally cries for her, when he recollects her memories, his love for her the time they spent together he really gets depressed whenever he remembers her.

    My friend is a singer and whenever he sings literally tears rolls off his eyes. He is not able to forget her and she has now no feelings for him. My friend has tried level best to remove her memories from his life and mind but he is not able to.

    He is scared that if that feeling of love is gone from his heart then that will affect his singing but he really wants to forget her. I please need your help as I want my friend to come out of this situation. Please help me so that I can help my friend. Please

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    March 9, 2016

    Hi Vishakha,

    Considering your friends situation, he needs to take help of positive media. Instead of singing negative songs which makes him vulnerable, he should sing and listen positive songs like “pushing me away” of linkin park.

    However, this type of song is rare, yet they exist.

    Another thing you should do is share the link of this page on your facebook friends so that your friends could also read it and take the help of this post. For more help, let him subscribe for my news letters.

    Thanks for your comment. 🙂

  • Chinmay

    March 29, 2016

    Just fallen in love again with your suggestion…… Thank you so much

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    April 4, 2016

    Good Luck 🙂

  • Patricia

    July 4, 2016


    I slept with a guy from who just wanted a hook up.. I wanted the same.. But more than sleeping with me, he texted and showed care ,concern and cuddled.

    After sleeping with me a couple of times he stopped and stepped back abruptly. I’ve been texting him every now and then and he always humiliates me.

    I have to stop this. He makes me feel unwanted, undesired and a waste. The point is I still love him.

    And I can’t get over him. It’s been more than 3 months that he has been treating me like this.

    And I still can’t forget him. My biggest problem is that I see him occasionally at work. Which doesn’t let me progress.
    Please help!!

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    July 6, 2016

    Hi Patricia,

    You desperately need to read this post Why do we fall in love. Your problem seems very much related to the concept why we fall in love. Moreover, if you both work together, you should check below post, too.

  • shajith

    August 25, 2016

    hello im shajith,
    bro you,re ryt…. i want to forget my gf. i can’t able to do that. i dont know why. she was avoiding me,while leave her means she was messaging me like (pls dont leave me) like that. Always she was doing like this only i don’t know what to do. everytime it was happening like that. im very emotional type i can’t able to bear simple things.everyday im crying alot. im searching for happiness but always im getting only hurt. i know she loves me more but everyday it hurts me alot. everyday im messaging her she will reply late only some day she will never reply while she was online also…. my problem was she was not caring me more.i told ryt im very emotional type i want her love always but everyday im getting only hurt… pls help me bro. i don’t know what to do

  • sukanya dwivedi

    September 9, 2016

    hey, I m in a relationship with a guy who used to be my bf 5 years ago, and again after 4 years we found each other and fell in love.. now at this time everything was so good but things got bitter when i got shifted and he became so insecured.. but i calm him down about not to be insecured and he trusted …. but 3 weeks ago bcz of misunderstanding he is not talking to me.. even he is saying that he doesnt trust me.. i really get depressed now.. whats my fault? from last 3 weeks whenever i call him he doesnt pick or if does.. he humiliates me, point is i love him so much..
    and i really dont kw what to do..
    please help ! 🙁

  • faiz anwar

    October 18, 2016

    Sir your ways are just awesome …but for me I could apply or follow it for some time…. because she rotates in my mind….sir do you have solution?
    Sir you wrote a quote-when you get bigger than your loss than you will forget your losses!true fact…But comparing love with a loss is it the same case?? Money comparing with love it’s quite complicated!

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    November 27, 2016

    Hi Faiz,

    First off, thanks for your compliment. Now, I come to your doubt. In my training material The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days, I clear the the concept ‘Why do we fall in love with someone and not another one’. Poets have created so many definitions of love, but when you read psychology you will understand that love is not such a complicated thing which can’t be understood.

  • Nidhi

    December 23, 2016

    Hi Alex

    I had a relationship of 3 and a half year’s first 3 year’s it was all so good. But when my partnern shifted to Australia everything has been changed.

    From the last 6 months we are not talking on regular basis because he always says I am busy I am on work and I got annoyed because he was not giving me time so fights and all. We share Facebook password of each other since 3 year’s so I realised that he is chating with other girls on Facebook while saying me “I am busy” so we broke up 2months back.

    While reading your post the only think that was going to my mind that I will forgive him because I love him so much. I Just want him to be the same boy and love me like he used to do before shifting to Australia.

    I am ready to forgive him but I want him to realise my importance in his life i did everything for him like a mother do for her child and he knows that I love him so much and he came back to me 10 days back saying sorry I love you but I wanted him to clear each and everything before starting again, he even don’t have time to clear that I Don’t understand what to do but I know I love me so much and I feel happy when we are together otherwise life is like cry cry and cry.. no sleep no hunger everything gone..

  • AJ

    December 26, 2016


    My GF is now telling me that we are now friends. The time I spent with her, I am unable to forget that moments. She try to avoid me despite I am still missing her badly. This is resulting that I am in depression. I could not eat and sleep properly. Please help me.

  • Jennifer

    March 10, 2017

    I have been dating man over six years he promised that he would marry me just last year. In September, I notes some changes in his life. In November, he told me that he impregnate a girl. Since January he is no longer picking my calls. I am trying to forget about him but I can’t. What do I do now!


    March 16, 2017


    I’m Revan (name changed) my story is I fall in love with someone when I was not sure about my relationship. After a certain point of time my situation is very good in the relationship even whatever I was saying that time that was accepted by her. When I was not ready for anything she always said that we will marry… we will marry and I was like why she is saying this right now.

    But after a certion point of time her behaviour changed now on my every talk her reaction is like why are you doing this. This not looks nice on you. Why you are calling me on the time when I don’t want to be a call. Why you want to meet me. This all thing are not easy for me.

    Now a days thing has been changed her rude behaviour I don’t like but my situation is if I will not talk with her in a week. I’m feeling suffocation inside even I started crusty behaviour to others.

    I really want to remover her from everywhere but my mind always reminds me her even on very very simple activites which I did with her like any song, any clothes which I weared when I meet her. I’m in very depression and nor I want to fall in love again with anyone.

    And, Last thing I also know she is ignoring me (as per my view) but deep down I also know she’s not with someone else.

    And I’m a very needy guy of her for that suffocation reason even in those days I’m also doing a call to her but seriously when she talked in a rude or abusive manner I always says in my heart now I will not call her again but after a two or three days I starts thinking and found my own mistake like I did this may be that’s the reason she was saying like this.

  • Jason

    June 17, 2017

    I was with her for 2 years. I found out early she is bipolar depressive and immediately I had reservations and doubts, but I fell in love with certain qualities about her and we eventually got engaged. By the day we were going to move in together we had already broken up a handful of times and got back together. Then on that day, I was late from work and by the time I arrived to help move, she and her bipolar mom were yelling and ganging up against my mom and I broke off the engagement and I didn’t move in with her.

    We got back together and broke up many times thereafter and all the while we had amazing sex together.. 3 weeks ago we finally broke up for good and I told her it was over, but then I tried to email her and get her back until she finally told me that before we broke up she was already seeing someone else. So that means she cheated on him with me and cheated on me with him.

    My problem is, I am a Christian and I am ashamed of myself for ever getting involved with her and for my disobedience. I realize now the whole time I did not and could not truly love her. She will always try to enslave men and make them lose their identity and suck the life out of them… she already cheated on the guy she is with and she cheated on him with me. I have since forgiven her and I will find and I deserve better. I’m going through counseling and seeking spiritual counseling as well and I hope it helps to heal and restore me. I have a date with a great girl next week and she’s really sweet. I hope it works out.

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    July 15, 2017

    Hey Jennifer,

    You should read this article what to do after a breakup.

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