How to Find Love Again – Psychology of Falling In Love

If you came to this page then it means that you are struggling with any of below questions:how to find love again

  1. How to find love again after being hurt
  2. How to find love again after a breakup
  3. How to find love again after divorce

In any of those cases, you need to understand what the love is.

There are so many misconceptions about love out there. Many divorces and breakups have happened due to lack of understanding of love.

Some people suffer a lot to forget their first love, and some other have to deal with relationship dissatisfaction while they are still in a relationship. Normally, these things happen due to lack of understandings people have about love.

 What is love?

If I were a romantic poet, I would say that love is so and so. I am unhappy because haven’t met my love yet. I will become happy once I find my love.

However, I am not a poet and I will not give you any incorrect belief just to make you feel more romantic and sadder.

Let’s talk about a girl named Sandy. Sandy is a girl who is raised by one parent. Her mother died when she was still a child. She hates her father because she believes that her father doesn’t give her that much attention. So, her biggest unmet need is being nursed. She has been facing down time for a long time.

One day, she was invited by her cousin to go on a tour with her colleagues.

When they go for the tour, Sandy meets a guy named Sam. Sam makes her feel happy and he gives her his full attention.

Now the subconscious mind of Sandy makes her think that she becomes happy in the presence of Sam. And in order to be happy, she needs to stay close to Sam.

That’s the point when subconscious mind of Sandy triggers the emotions of love in the mind of Sandy for Sam.

Love is nothing more than an emotion which created by your subconscious mind to make you stay close to the person whose presence makes you feels good.  

According to some biologist, some chemical changes also happen during the earlier stage of falling in love.

These chemicals are responsible for the special feelings you feel during the starting of a relationship.

Why do you fall in love with a certain person and not with the other ones?

You might ask this question after the explanation of love you just read. In my training Material The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days, I say that we mostly fall in love with someone based on below things.

  1. Our unmet needs
  2. Our values in life
  3. Our past experience
  4. Our current situation
  5. And the time when that person enters in our life

We all have different past experience and unmet needs. Therefore, we fall in love with different persons.

A poor girl might have an unmet of becoming rich while a rich girl might have a different unmet need which doesn’t depend on money.

You may have heard some stories in which a girl from a highly rich family fall in love with a poor guy. Whenever you hear this type of story you might think that the girl was idiot.

Do you know why you think so? It is because Money might be an unmet need for you, but not for her.

So what all these have to do with how to find love again after a breakup or divorce?

Instead of giving you superficial advice like ‘Join online dating sites’ or ‘Meet new people’, I want you to adopt correct beliefs about love and then you need to work on the other things.

First you need to understand why we fall in love with someone. Thereafter, you need to make a list of your unmet needs and what you want from your potential partner.

Once you make that list, you need to adjust and modify it a little bit in next few days.

And then you need to try to find love again. By doing so, you would better find your true soul mate this time (See more How to forget someone you love).

Advertise yourself –

If you stay all day at home then don’t expect that someone come from TV and will say you, “Hey, you are my true soul mate”.

You need to advertise yourself that you are single and you would like to date someone.

Go to the places –

If you want that your partner should be a religious person then you should better go to Church than a Bar.

You need to understand which type of person you would like to date and then you need to go to the places where you may meet them.

How to find love again? It greatly depends on how early you accept the breakup or divorce, how soon you understand what the love is, and how to make yourself available to your potential partner.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at

About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn't a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.   By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).   If you've been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.


  • James

    September 18, 2015

    I need to ask this what if you have no friends, the only person you had was your partner for 7 years and then she decides to leave you one day, for good reasons and you accept this and you want to improve yourself and life in general…but it’s impossibly hard to move on because you have no social circle anymore, only family (mom) and seeing couples and not hearing a word from someone youv’e spent so much time with twist your gut like nothing else.

    What do you do when you’re alone and have no friends to go out with, when going outside makes you feel worse, i need a genuine response i hope you reply.

  • Alex J. Stevenson

    September 21, 2015

    Hi James,

    Thanks for commenting on my site. You ended it in 7 years, and I did so in 6 years. So, I think that I can feel what you are feeling right now.
    I thought the same way as you are thinking now. I, too, had no friends that’s why I craved for my ex too much.

    Getting over an ex is tough and I don’t say that going through a breakup is easy. Everyone has to suffer at least a little to get over an ex, however, it’s not impossible.

    If you have no social circle anymore, then you need to invest some time to develop your social circle once again. If you don’t have a social circle, then it’s not related with your ex. 🙂
    You are just feeling lonely, not because your ex has left you, but because you have no one with whom you can share your thoughts.

    What if you get a few people with whom you can share your thoughts? What if you get someone who always appreciate you for what you are?
    In these cases, your loneliness will gradually fade away. And you will find that moving on is not impossibly hard.

    For more help, use Convince Your ‘S’ Technique from this post.

    Waiting for your reply. 🙂

  • Queenie

    May 30, 2017

    How to lift, my live in partner in life because he was like a break up on me. I need to move on. How I deleted all memories about my feelings of my partner I like to let it gout. I don’t like to full soon because my partner is welling to over break up to me soon, for now I make plan to lift this man,,but my hurt is to move on..

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