If you are trying to forget your ex then below are the fears which are causing your situation miserable:
- Life may be worthless without your ex girlfriend or boyfriend
- You find that in order to be happy, you must have your ex. Other things are not making you feel happy without your ex.
- In deep inside your heart, you firmly believe that your ex was the best one you can manage to attract. If they left, you won’t find someone as good as your ex (see more How to find love again).
After analyzing the questions of many people who are suffering from a breakup, I find that these are the three main fears which prevent any person to get over an ex.
So, how to forget your ex and live your life once again?
In order to solve this question, you need to understand your fears and fix them. If you don’t fix your fears, they can become your reality. This is what you really don’t want to happen.
So see below tips:
Fix your fears –
Let’s start with your first fear which is life may be worthless without your ex.
Do you know why you think this way?
It is because in the starting of the relationship you thought that your ex was much better than you. Moreover, in order to keep them with you, you needed so much improvement in you.
Later you find that you should sacrifice so many things to give your 100% to your ex. And you did so many sacrifices.
Now your ex is not with you and your life seems worthless because you made your ex the whole thing you had.
You might have sacrificed your hobbies and so many things for your ex. You did things considering what your ex wanted. You made plans considering the happiness of your ex. Moreover, you set goals of your life considering your ex.
It’s so common that guys want to earn more money just because they want to take their girlfriends to a luxury trip.
And one day your ex told you that they didn’t want to stay in the relationship with you anymore.
This is not only the end of relationship it is also an end of what you had planned for your relationship. That’s the reason why most people find their lives worthless just after a breakup.
Next time when you involved into a new relationship, don’t make the relationship the whole thing you have.
Second thing is you should accept that it is so common to feel like this just after a breakup. You should accept it but you should understand that you still have lots of other things.
If you think that you have lost everything then I suggest you to watch below video:
Understand the withdrawal symptoms –
When people become addicted to a certain thing, their bodies show withdrawal symptoms if they don’t use that thing.
For an example, if someone is addicted to alcohol and they take alcohol before sleeping at night, then they feel uneasy if they don’t take alcohol at any certain night.
This is a very similar situation to someone who used to love his or her partner, and after a while they become addicted to their partner.
One day they find that there is no one whom they can show their affection. At this point, their bodies show withdrawal symptoms.
Now your subconscious mind makes you believe that you can’t be happy without your ex, because you have been addicted to your ex for months or years.
It is not easy to get rid of any addiction, and so does with a relationship.
In order to handle withdrawal symptoms, you need to use Convince Your ‘S’ Technique I described in my previous post How to find a better partner after a breakup.
“I won’t find someone better”, this is just a self-deception –
We people do our best when it comes to self deception. You know that you wanted to improve a lot of things you hate about yourself, yet you didn’t give that much attention to self improvement.
Later, you deceive yourselves that you couldn’t find someone better than your ex and you dated with your ex. Didn’t you want someone else who was far better than you ex? I am sure you wanted to date someone else. However, you found that it was impossible for you to date that person. Didn’t you?
You wanted someone else, but you dated your ex. Just because your ex was the best person you managed to date at that time.
This is single best explanation why you can find someone better than your ex. They were not the best person you came across and you can find someone better than them for sure.
What you need to do right now is to improve yourselves. Get into the shape, increase your income and learn how to flirt with opposite sex. You will find someone better.
Instead of dwelling on a past relationship, invest that time on getting better. You will find that you missed just a mere fish on the ocean.
Program your subconscious mind to forget your ex –
Neurologists say that subconscious mind believes on something which is presented to it several times with some solid proofs.
In other words, you need to make your subconscious mind believe that you will forget your ex, live a happy life without them and get someone better.
So how can you do this?
Instead of listening to sad breakup songs, you need to listen to the songs which make you believe that you are happy without your ex.
A common mistake most people make is that they listen to sad songs which convey a message that they can’t be happy without their exes.
The more they listen to sad songs, the more they believe that they can’t be happy without their ex. And then it makes the subconscious mind believes firmly that the ex was the whole thing they have.
Later they claim that one life is too short to get over someone you loved.
So, avoid listening to sad breakup songs and start listening to positive songs which will help you to get over your ex.
Any song which conveys messages like ‘if your ex was your soulmate, then they wouldn’t have dumped you’ or ‘if you miss just one fish, then don’t worry there are lots of fish in the sea’ is a good song.
Any other songs which also empower you are good songs. You should make a habit to listen to these kinds of songs. And you will eventually belief that your ex is gone for good.
You will find that forgetting them is not that much hard for you.
How to forget your ex girlfriend or boyfriend after marriage –
Some people mistakenly believe that the best way to forget your ex is to get under someone else.
It seems a good thought on a superficial level. However, when you try to understand psychology, you will find that this decision can ruin your life.
Right after a breakup, everyone experience a great amount of pain. Some people find a shortcut to avoid or minimize this experience. They get under someone else. They develop a rebound relationship to avoid suffering from lovesickness.
The problem with this is that there is no guarantee that the other person is better than your ex. People normally develop rebounds just to cope with their breakups, and not because they really love their new partner.
The excitement of a new relationship will always help you to forget about your ex.
However, the excitement won’t last forever. The excitement of a new relationship will fade away after a while. What will you do then? What if you marry rebound?
What will happen when you marry the rebound and feel for your ex after your marriage?
I see lots of people who still feel for their exes after their marriages.
A rebound relationship is not a solution. If you don’t believe me, just search on Google ‘how to forget your ex after marriage’ and you will see what I am trying to say you.
What if you are married and still feeling for your ex?
There is still a solution. If you are still feeling for your ex, then there is a big possibility that your partner is not able to provide some of your core unmet needs your ex was able to provide you.
In this case, you can do two things: 1) Manage to meet your unmet need by your own efforts, 2) Persuade your partner to provide you what you wanted out of a relationship.
Of course, you need to do it on an unconscious level. For more explanation about this see How to find love again.
What if he or she cheated on you?
Infidelity is a big issue for everyone. No one wants that their partner cheats on them on their back.
No matter how many great things your ex did for you, but if they cheated on you, it can’t be justified.
I find that some people HATE their ex and they want to get over them. However, the thought of ‘Being-Cheated-On’ makes them suffer more.
They think about their ex much, not because they love them so much, but because they are unable to forgive their ex.
In one of my post How to get over your first love, I say that a person can’t forgive their ex as long as they are in the weak position.
If your ex was the one who broke the relationship for someone else, then you need to make them believe that they did the mistake by dumping you.
To do this you need to be happier and more successful than your ex. Once you find that your ex is regretting dumping you, the thought of Being-Cheated-On will gone :-).
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