In this modern age, divorce rate is so high and people breakup so often, therefore it is important understand what is the reason behind these things. According to psychology, the most common reason for breakups and divorce is relationship dissatisfaction.
If your ex dumped you and told you that they don’t feel that much, then rest assured that your relationship ended cause of relationship dissatisfaction.
People grow up by watching soap operas which usually depict unrealistic picture of love. Unfortunately, we all get education about love from those soap operas.
Now think about what usually happens when two people fall in love with each other.
They both have unrealistic expectations from their relationship partner. When they find that their partners are unable to meet those expectations then it creates big relationship dissatisfaction.
Relationship = Painkiller
If your ex dumped you, then it might happen because she/he used you as a pain killer. Confused? I will explain here.
Some people are hunted by their flaws and the past. These people expect that when they find their true love, their problems will be solved by the love.
They truly believe that the key solution to all their problems is to find to a relationship partner.
And when they find someone, they see some boost in their mood due to the excitement of falling in love.
They feel very good for the first few weeks, but after a while they find that their problems are still there.
Also, the excitement of falling in love fades away after a while. Therefore, they find that their painkiller is not working to forget about their flaws and problems.
Surprisingly, these people blame the relationship and say that they don’t feel as they felt in the starting of the relationship.
At this stage, they seek break up so that they fall in love with someone else and get rid of their flaws.
These people ignore the fact that the solution is not in breaking up, but it is in fixing their beliefs about love.
Some people use relationship as a painkiller, and it is one of the most common reasons for breakups and divorce. You should not depend upon relationship to solve your problems.
How to minimize relationship dissatisfaction –
In order to minimize relationship dissatisfaction, you must have a realistic expectation about love and relationship.
Don’t assume that your partner will be error free. Moreover, don’t hope that keeping yourself happy all the time is the responsibility of your partner.
Another thing you should keep in your mind is that you should never compare your partner with the ideal character you see on television. It will make the comparison really unfair.
Don’t depend on a relationship to solve your problems –
If you are depressed because you lost something precious then don’t try to seek the sympathy of someone, instead do your best to get that thing back.
Don’t depend on a relationship to solve your problems. Some people trouble with bad moods. And they fall in love with someone just because their mood changes in the presence of that person.
Remember that bad moods come due to the presence of any unsolved problem. And if you manage to solve that problem, your problem of mood swing will be solved automatically.
Restore intimacy –
In a good relationship, the longer the partners stay, the deeper the intimacy grows. However, in a relationship which is struggling to survive, intimacy become fades away as time passes by.
To restore intimacy in a relationship, both partners must have some common interests and they must spend some time together for their common interests.
For an example, if a husband and his wife like watching news then they both must spend some time together by watching any news channel.
If you just faced a breakup or if you are facing so much trouble in your relationship then most probably the reason is relationship dissatisfaction.
Once you understand it, you must try to solve it by making realistic expectations for, solving your own problems and fighting for keeping the intimacy.
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