Should I Get Back Together With My Ex – Evaluate Yourself

The short answer of the question, “Should I get back with my ex?” is it really depends on you, your ex and many other facts. So, before jumping into a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer you should examine your situation with these facts…

“Should I get back together with my ex?”

Probably, this is the most hunting question if you are feeling emptiness in your life after the break up.

It is common that everyone feels a big change in their lives when their status becomes “single” from “in a relationship”.

It may be possible that your ex is trying hard to win you back, or you are feeling that your life is unbearable without your ex, whatever it is you should consider a few facts before jumping into your old relationship.

The short answer of the question, “Should I get back with my ex?” is it really depends on you, your ex and many other facts. So, before jumping into a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer you should examine your situation with these facts.

Should I get back together with my ex?

Consider these facts and evaluate yourself:

1) Breakups happen in every week –

Every relationship has some ups and downs, but if you feel that breakups happened in every now and than in your relationship, then it may be possible that it was not a good relationship for both of you. Probably, you both were not good fits for each other.

You may feel that your ex is now changing; therefore what happened in the past does not necessary to happen in future too.

However, it is rare that people change themselves to a great extent for a long time. Many people find that changes in an ex after the breakup doesn’t last for a long time.

So, consider this fact if you are asking “should I get back together with my ex?”

2) You feel that life problems seem intolerable with your ex –

Believe it or not, if you are wanting for a reunion because of this reason, than probably you were not on the good relationship. In some of my previous posts, I explain how some people use relationship as tool to escape from an unfavorable circumstance.

Some people use drug to forget about their unresolved problems. The same way, some people use ‘relationship’ to forget about their unresolved problems for a while.

These people are relationship addicts, and they don’t feel good unless they are in any relationship.

However, being a relationship addict is better than other types of addicts, yet there is one problem with a relationship addict. That is they normally choose the wrong person as relationship partner.

The primary purpose of a relationship addict is to find a partner and settle down, therefore they unconsciously unaware of fact what they truly want from the relationship.

If you are feeling that your life-problems are intolerable without your ex, try to develop coping skills and then solve your unresolved problems. This is better than jumping into the old relationship.

3) You still believe that your ex was the best one –

There is nothing much to talk about this. If you broke up with your ex even though they were the best one for you, then probably they have some traits which were intolerable for you.

Ask yourself whether you can tolerate those traits in future.

4) You are wanting them back just because you are feeling alone –

For some people, the only source of intimacy is their relationships and they neglect the importance of friends. When their partners left, they lose their one and only source of intimacy.

People feel loneliness when they don’t have much close friends. It is possible that you may have lots of friends, yet you don’t have much intimacy with them.

The reason why someone feels lonely after the breakup is that they lack close friends. And if they are unable to tolerate loneliness, they think to get back together with their ex.

If you are feeling lonely, then try to develop intimacy with some of your friends. Thinking for a reunion just because you are feeling lonely is not a good reason for a reunion. Overall, the break up happened for a reason.

5) You are not fully recovered –

In my post Stages of getting over someone, I explained that there were seven stages to recover from a break up.

It is possible that your ex is in Bargaining stage and you are in the Relapse stage. Both stages are dangerous and if someone stumbles upon those stages, then they never recover from the breakup completely.

In the bargaining stage, your ex is thinking that everything will set back as it was before beginning of the relationship. They may be flirting hard with others just to make you feel jealous and get you back.

On the other hand, you may be on the relapse stage in which you are falling into the trap of break up and patch up.

6) You both wanted different things from the relationship –

Examine your ex and yourself whether you both want the same things or different things from the relationship. If you both want far different things from the relationship, then it is likely that you will face more breakups from your ex in future.

7) You are feeling miserable after the break up –

Believe it or not, being miserable after a break up is much related to you and it doesn’t much relate to how much you loved your ex.

It’s not a good reason for the patch up.

8) You also felt miserable while you were in the relationship –

Minor conflicts arise in every relationship, and those conflicts are solved without much effort. On the other hand, if you find that your position is miserable in the relationship and it is always too hard to resolve the conflicts, then know that you are not in a healthy relationship.

Your relationship is toxic. It’s only making you feel more miserable day after day.

If this happened to you, don’t think for getting back together with your ex.

About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn’t a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.
 
By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).
 
If you’ve been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.

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