11 Sure Signs That You Are In A Toxic Relationship [Based On Psychology]

A normal relationship doesn’t require much sacrifice from both partners to make it work. Moreover, people stay happy when they are in a healthy relationship…

Are relationship problems making you lose hope for future? Are you desperately searching whether you are in a toxic relationship or not? If so, examine yourself with these 11 warning signs that you are in a toxic relationship.

These signs are not based on general guess work. There are some principles of psychology behind each sign you read here.

Now it’s time to evaluate your relationship with this warning signs.

Signs that you are in a toxic relationship

1) You are making too much effort to keep your partner happy –

A normal relationship doesn’t require much sacrifice from both partners to make it work. Moreover, people stay happy when they are in a healthy relationship.

On the other hand, committing too much on how you can make your partner happy is a sign that neither you nor your partner is happy in the relationship.

From a psychological standpoint you think that your partner has much more value than you. You are a little worried that your partner may leave you for someone else.

If you see that your efforts of keeping your partner happy don’t bring any results, then you are in a toxic relationship.

2) You always think about what you could have done –

There are two types of thinking patters, 1st is progressive thinking and 2nd is backward thinking.

People when they are in a good phase of their lives, they think about their future. They make plans for their future. They are hopeful for the future. They become progressive thinker.

On the other hand, when people have little or no hope for future and they are unhappy with their current situation, they start backward thinking.

However, every individual is different and some people remain progressive thinker in the tough situations, too.

When we talk about relationship, backward thinking is a warning sign that the relationship is not the ideal relationship they wished to have.

Ask yourself, do you always think about what could you have done to make relationship better?

Partners in good terms forgive and forget the minor mistakes of each other. They don’t make their partner to worry so much about what could have been done.

3) You always feel that you are going back to the square one –

Many times you find yourself that the relationship is going nowhere. You are worried about the future. You think about break up, but you are afraid of leaving your comfort zone.  (see more How to break up with someone you still love)

There is a little different between suffering for something you truly want and suffering just because of your comfort zone.

4) Your partner always makes you feel bad –

Solving minor disputes in relationships is possible as long as either of the partners doesn’t have ‘it’s-all-your-fault’ attitude.

It’s human nature to make errors, and in the relationship both partners should like each other so much that they can tolerate each other’s mistakes.

Therefore, if your partner is consistently criticizing you, then understand that they don’t have much feeling for you. And you are in a bad relationship.

5) Less communication and much arguing –

We all know how much bad it feels when a loved one keeps arguing on us instead of communicating with us.

Good communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship. When we communicate with our loved ones, we share our fear, doubts and many other things. And we feel relaxed thereafter.

However, when you see that there is little to no communication between both of you and whenever communication starts it turns into arguments, then know that it’s time to break up.

Much argument between couples means that they both are not good compatible for each other.

6) Your partner has little to no trust on you –

Relationships are built in trust. Trust is the gluing agent of the relationship. So, when the trust is gone from the relationship, nothing will be left on the relationship. It will just become a hurdle for you.

Consistently checking your Smartphone, spying your social networks and asking useless, numerous questions are the signs that your partner has little to no trust on you.

In long run, trust issues will not only make your situation unpleasant but also make you vulnerable in the relationship.

After all, you just don’t want to end up as a depressed person just because of a relationship.

7) Dwelling over the past –

In my previous post, how to stop dwelling over past and move on, I said that thinking too much about beautiful days of the past was a sign that you were not happy at the present moment.

Understand that the honeymoon period also has a time. It won’t last for a long time. Excitement of a new relationship fades away after a while.

Thereafter, couples need maturity to understand and respect each other’s need.

If you find yourself always thinking about beautiful days of the beginning of the relationship, then it is a big symptom that you are having a bad relationship.

8) Relationship is draining your energy –

You become mentally and physically drained whenever you talk to your partner. You become more negative and hopeless about the future.

Even sometimes you feel that your relationship is actually holding you back. This is warning sign of a toxic relationship. (see more How to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back).

9) Your partner has narcissist personality –

Maintaining a healthy relationship with a narcissist is hard unless you always want to be submissive.

A Narcissist is someone who always wants complements about their earth-shattering successes they got by their iron will. Or they wish to consistent complements about their breathtaking beauty. 🙂

A narcissist wants complements on a daily basis. And if they don’t get enough supply of complements from their partner and other sources, they become arrogant and sometimes abusive, too.

Mostly narcissists are only focused on what they want from the relationship. And they totally ignore the wants and needs of the other person. (see more How to get over a narcissists).

10) They always make you feel unworthy –

Your partner’s behaviors have changed dramatically and they always treat you like trash. Their attitude is something like ‘it’s you who are making their life unbearable’. They discriminate you and sometimes use abusive language.

This is one of the biggest warning signs of a toxic relationship (see more How to let go of a toxic relationship).

11) You are hopeless about the future of the relationship –

In the tough situation, the hope is the secret sauce which gives us motivation to manage tough situation. When you don’t have any hope for future about the relationship, it is truly hard to manage arguments and debates.

Moreover, if the other person is not willing to fix relationship issues, you can’t fix them alone.

Am I in a toxic relationship?

Up till now you have a good idea whether you are in a toxic relationship or not. If you see that more than 70% of signs appear in your relationship, then it is quite sure that you are in a toxic relationship.

However, if you are still confused, then take a quiz called Toxic relationship quiz here.

How to fix a toxic relationship?

First, I don’t want to make any false claim that you can save any toxic relationship by using my blah blah blah techniques. 🙂

Some relationships can’t be saved, and it’s truth. Even sometimes it’s good for both persons to leave each other.

It will help them to stop hurting each other and also find their true soul mates.

If you want to fix your toxic relationship, then first read my post Why do we fall in love and know the Love Psychology.

In that post, I explained that we fell in love with a certain person based on our unconscious criteria of love. The unconscious criteria of love have been developed since our childhood and it is modified throughout life.

If you had a good relationship with your partner in the beginning and your relationship has turned into a toxic relationship, then there is a big possibility that their unconscious criteria of love have drastically changed.

Probably, you are not fitting into their new and modified love criteria.

Now it’s your time to evaluate yourself whether you can adjust yourself in way to fit into the ‘new love criteria’ of your partner.

How to get your ex back?

Most people ask me this question and I give the same answer to them. If you want to get your ex back, then you need to apply the same principle. You just need to re-evaluate yourself whether you can truly adjust yourself in a way to be fitted into new love criteria of your ex or not. If not, then it is better to end that relationship permanently.

Ending toxic relationships –

Though it is not easy leaving a toxic relationship, yet you must leave it if you want peace in your mind.

Ending a toxic relationship is something like trying to quit smoking. You know that smoking is a bad habit and every single cigarette is hurting your health slightly, however you find that quitting smoking is so hard.

Most of us are afraid of leaving comfort zone. Even though sometimes you know that you are getting so much hurt in your current position, yet the fear of unknown stop you to leave your comfort zone.

I understand that leaving a toxic relationship is hard even you know that you are getting only troubles from that relationship. Therefore, I made another post Breaking up with someone you still love.

Books on toxic relationships

There are so many books were written on toxic relationships. However, most of them have full of puff of superficial advice such as leave them alone, follow ‘no contact’ rule, keep yourself busy and blah blah blah.

However, these superficial advices don’t work when you are going through a roller cost of positive and negative emotions towards your partner.

Therefore, if you want a hopeful future and regret free past, then gain accesses to my training material The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In Just 14 Days. Click the link and see how it can bring a good present and future for you.

See here what other people say about it. 🙂

About The Author

Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson isn't a PhD holder on psychology. However, he better understand how to use psychology in real life to forget an ex and feel good.   By doing so, he has helped thousands of men and women to get over their exes (see praise here).   If you've been struggling to get over your ex, get access to his training material The Master training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days. He guarantees that you will recover from your breakup, or else your money will be refunded.

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