Wondering when to let go of a relationship? If so, you shouldn’t be a frog!
The title of this post might seem strange, but when you finish this post, you will understand what I mean.
A helpless frog –
I think that you might hear this story before, but who knows.
So let’s start.
A scientist was doing an experiment with frogs. He put one frog in a vessel with full of water. Thereafter, he started heating the water.
The temperature of water was slightly growing. As the temperature grew, the frog slightly adjusted its body temperature accordingly.
The vessel was full of water, so the frog can jump out of the vessel anytime if it wanted.
But as it was feeling comfortable, it didn’t try to jump out of the vessel.
The temperature was growing and the frog always adjusted its temperature accordingly until the temperature of water reached to the boiling point.
At that stage, the frog was unable to adjust its body temperature. Then it tried to jump out of the vessel.
Now the interesting thing is that it didn’t have enough energy to jump out of the vessel because it lost all its energy on adjusting its temperature.
It was helpless, and it died on the vessel because neither it was able to adjust its body temperature once again nor it could jump out of the vessel.
The similar thing happens when a person is surrounded by the people which presence makes them depressed, unloved and unworthy.
You might try to adjust yourself too much, but you find that the more you adjust, the worst you feel.
Who says you have to adjust all time? I agree that little adjustment is required to survive a relationship or to be happy in your life.
However, if you are trying to adjust all time, then you are in trouble.
When to let go of a relationship?
In short, before you reach to the boiling point.
Does it seem that your relationship consume most of your time? Do you always feel unloved and depressed? Do you break up with your partner every week?
If your answer is Yes to all these questions, then it might be possible that you are just adjusting yourself and your life just for shake of relationship (see more if it’s time to break up).
Also, this is a warning alarm that you should jump out from that relationship, or else you might be completely drained out.
If your partner is a manipulative one, then they will manipulate you as long as they can (see more How to break up with someone you still love).
The frog didn’t jump out from the vessel because it found that adjusting its body is more comfortable than jumping out. It died because it was not aware of the danger of being passive.
The biggest mistake it made was that it lost all its energy in adjusting its body temperature, therefore when it need the energy the most, it didn’t have any.
Therefore, if you are draining out, then you must take some actions. Instead of being passive, you should become active and accumulate your courage and let go of your relationship.
Don’t waste all of your energy and effort on a relationship which only gives you pain. Instead, divert that energy and effort on leaving that emotionally abusive relationship.
Here are some signs when to let go of a relationship –
1) You can’t fix little things –
Couples do not always agree with each other. It is very common to see that they arguing about small things.
Little fights between couples are not exactly big issues. However, when it seems that you can’t fix small fights with your partner every now and then, you need to let go of relationship.
When couples always argue for small things, then it is very likely that they have lost love for each other. Or else they would have fixed those issues already (see more Signs they have moved on).
2) You don’t like negative behaviors of your partner and vice versa –
Often people neglect the negative behaviors of their partner at the starting of a relationship. This is how they started loving their partner.
It is also possible that you might hide some of your bad behaviors at the starting or your partner might hide some of their bad behaviors. When couples spend some time together, they know the bad behaviors of each other.
Considering your and your partner’s behavior if you find that you both are not good compatible for each other then you should let go of the relationship.
3) Different needs –
In my training course The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days, I say how different needs from relationship cause breakups.
It might be possible that a rich girl is craving for being appreciated while a poor guy might be running after money.
Therefore, if both are in a relationship, then they might get troubles because they have very different needs from the relationship.
4) The more you commit, the more stressful you become –
This is the worst condition. If you are in this situation, you should let leave your emotionally abusive relationship at any cost. Remember that you are not a frog.
You don’t have to commit just to be more stressful.
To know more about when to let go of a relationship, read my previous post How to know you should break up.
How to let go of a relationship?
In above story, the scientist kept continuing the experiment. He brought another frog and dropped it on the boiling water.
The moment the frog touched the water, it jumped and got itself out of the vessel.
In our daily life, we normally don’t commit with someone who tries to abuse us (physically or verbally) at the first meeting.
Letting go and moving on is just as simple as how the frog jumped out of the vessel.
Remember that people stay in an abusive relationship, not because they can’t live with it, but because they became addicted to their partner and the circumstance they were living with.
In my previous post How to let go of a toxic relationship, I said the surest way of living an unsatisfied life is to remain in a toxic relationship even though you know that it is toxic for you.
Some common ways of letting of a relationship are:
- Dealing with emotions instead of person
- Letting go of the past
- Stopping self-criticism
- Understanding the child psychology.
To get a better understandings of all these, click above link and visit my previous post.