You know that you can’t be happy with your ex but you still feel a lot about your ex. Why do breakups hurt so much?
This becomes a big question for you. And you think a lot about this while suffering from your breakup.
Breakups hurt so badly and there are so many reasons behind it.
In this post, I will not tell you about superficial reasons, instead I will show you psychological reasons which make a breakup so painful.
Why do breakups hurt so much?
Reason #1. You are unsure about what would happen next –
Right after a breakup, most people are very unsure about their future. They believe that they can’t be happy again until their ex comes back. They believe that their sole source of happiness was their ex and he or she has been removed from their life.
Breakups hurt so much because people have wrong beliefs about love and they keep themselves exposed to negative media which make them believe more on their false beliefs about love.
If you do the right things after the breakup, breakups won’t hurt you that much.
Believe the pain of breakup won’t hurt you for a long time as long as you don’t solidify your wrong beliefs.
Reason #2. It is okay to cry –
It you are feeling bad then it is okay to cry as much as you can. When you cry, your suppressed emotions come out and you feel good after a while. Sometimes suppressed emotions cause depression. Therefore, it is okay to cry right after a breakup.
But don’t cry again for the same reason. Convince your subconscious mind that you have cried over split milk and there is no need to cry again for that milk (See more How to deal with depression from break up) .
Reason #3. Lack of understanding of psychology –
Let’s suppose that you have two cars. You use one car and don’t use the other one. It has become one year since you didn’t use the second car.
Now what would happen if someone steals the second car? Would you feel bad about the lost car? Of course, you will.
Even if you don’t use the second car, you have developed the emotion of possession that the car is your own.
The same rule applies to the breakups. Even you know that you don’t like your ex that much, breaking up with him or her hurts you.
It happens because you have developed an unseen bond with your ex. When you break up, your possession over your ex become finished and then you feel that you lost something you own.
The feeling of losing something makes a breakup to hurt you badly.
To get rid of this feeling, read my previous post How to feel better after a breakup.
Reason #5. Limited source of intimacy –
When someone involved in a relationship, he stop seeing his old friends, doing the things he likes and meeting new people just to give more time to the relationship. He tries to make the relationship the whole thing he has.
However, the problems arise when the relationship doesn’t survive and it ends in a breakup.
Thereafter, that person finds that he has lost the whole thing he had. He has lost the whole source of intimacy, now he can’t go to his friends and share intimate things because he has been neglecting them for a long time.
As we human are social animals, we must have some intimate relationships to share our problems and pains in order to live a happy life.
When we don’t have anyone to share our problems and pains we became stressed and sad. This is another reason why breakups hurt so much.
What to do now?
After reading this post, you may be wondering what you should do right now.
If you just faced a breakup and it is hurting you a lot, then get access to my master training material in which I shared psychological principles which will help you to get over your ex in just two weeks.
Don’t believe me!